How to be boring

In a psychology today article I found this treasure trove of ways to lose friends and alienate people:

  1. The #1 most boring way of behaving was what the researchers called “negative egocentrism” – “being negative and complaining, talking about one’s problems, displaying disinterest in others”
  2. Banality – “talking about trivial or superficial things, being interested in only one topic, and repeating the same stories and jokes again and again”
  3. Low affectivity – showing little enthusiasm, speaking in a monotone, engaging in very little eye contact, behaving in a very unexpressive way
  4. Tedious – “talking slowly, pausing a long time before responding, taking a long time to make one’s points, and dragging conversations on”
  5. Passivity – having little to say, not having any opinions, being too predictable or too likely to try to conform with what everyone else is saying
  6. Self-preoccupation – this one is obvious: talking all about yourself
  7. Seriousness – coming across as very serious, rarely smiling
  8. Boring ingratiation – “trying to be funny or nice in order to impress other people”
  9. Distraction – doing things that interfere with the conversation, getting sidetracked too easily, and engaging in too much small talk
    Source: “What Makes People Boring?,” accessed September 30, 2014, x

I hope this helps anybody learn to be un-charismatic and incapable of making friends.

On the other hand, you could do the opposite of these things and enjoy your life a little bit more.

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