Geoff's Miscellany

Perhaps the two most frequent things young Christian men ask me for advice about are relationships and overcoming a pornography habit. I’ll stick with relationships, though Dallas Willard has great advice for those who struggle to kick pornography: Beyond Pornography. On to relationships.

Most of the guys who ask for advice, though sometimes women come to my wife for such advice as well, ask how to enter into a relationship in the first place in the current dating market. Many of them suffer from a glut of two pieces of advice:

I haven’t done a science fact of the day lately. Work is time consuming. Don’t forget, science facts of the day are my thoughts on and descriptions of what scientists say. In other words, it’s a fact that some scientists have said it. What I write is not necessarily a fact of nature nor something I even take to be the case.

In an article at Big Think, an author describes this analysis of online dating data.

Christianese:

• I'm not sure what I'm called to do.
• I'm pretty sure God is calling me to become a chef.
• God told me to change majors.
• God called me to date so-and-so.
• I'm feeling called to the [insert cause that allows for very little personal accountability here].

1. Being Addressed by God[1] This is God's commissioning of a specific individual or group of people for a specific task. Such as when the Lord calls the prophets of the Old Testament or gives somebody a task through a prophet. This would also include the baptism of Jesus, the resurrection appearances of Jesus to the disciples, as well as to Paul. In such circumstances, the idea is that the individual in question was addressed by name and given a specific task by God. Or, the group was addressed by God through such an individuals or group and given an identity and task by God, "Hear O Israel..."
2. Being a Christian[2] In the Bible, calling is also used to refer to converting to follow Jesus Christ. The idea is that the gospel message is a summons from God himself. To become a Christian it to be called. Bible passages like Ephesians 4:1 show that every Christian, by virtue of being a Christian, has a calling. This is the calling of every single Christian: to be a disciple of Jesus Christ in a community of Jesus' people.
3. Finally, in modern life, “calling” often refers your unique purpose in life. This is where the confusion sets in: When you ask, “what is the task to which I should devote my life that is unique to me and my circumstances?” The Bible does not say how to find a calling or that you “have to do it.” The idea that you must leave a unique mark on the world with your life is recent in history. The nature of your calling is tied up with your career, your family, the civilization in which you live, and your life circumstances. But many people assume, without much thought, that this particular aspect of calling is something that God will tell you to do if you only listen carefully. Therefore, many Christians never use wisdom, advice, or forethought in choosing their career or their calling because they confuse God's calling of prophets in the Bible and his calling of all Christians to follow Jesus with the notion of discovering a life goal or life mission.

• Capacities- This is what you're really good at, what you're willing to spend thousands of hours upon, and what other people tell you you're good at when they're not being flattering. See Ecc 10:10 If the ax is blunt—the edge isn't sharpened—then more strength will be needed. Putting wisdom to work will bring success.

• Job Importance- This is what you can do that makes money for your family, the causes you're interested in, for missions, for charity, etc. Not only that, but it is what you do that leaves a legacy, that changes people's lives with what you build, what allows you to raise your children to lead godly lives, to spend time with your spouse, and to influence others for the gospel. See 1Ti 5:8 If anyone does not take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Also see 1Co 12:18-23 But now God has arranged the parts, every one of them, in the body according to his plan. (19) Now if all of it were one part, there wouldn't be a body, would there? (20) So there are many parts, but one body. (21) The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you," or the head to the feet, "I don't need you." (22) On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are in fact indispensable, (23) and the parts of the body that we think are less honorable are treated with special honor, and we make our less attractive parts more attractive.

• Replaceability – This is the concept of being replaced in your context. Are you doing a job wherein anybody with no training can replace you? Get out of it. Do something that you're willing to be good enough to be irreplaceable in the region you live for the field of work you're in. Pro_22:29 Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.

Questions for Career:

Often, advice from successful Christian men and women boils down to platitudes that sound spiritual, but reflect neither wisdom nor what those very people did to become successful.

Here are things I heard in sermons to college students when I was in college or that I heard when I asked for advice:

1. Ask God for guidance.
2. Listen and see what God tells you to do.
3. Your early twenties is a good time to spend yourself on volunteer work (usually the mission cause of the agency represented by the preacher) because you won't have time when you're older.
4. Just wait on God.
5. Don't worry about that kind of thing, God will provide.

I call foul.

A lot of Christian advice boils down to platitudes with neither moral nor practical content. Sadly, our tendency to speak in airy nothings to one another as a time saving mechanism as stripped many of Jesus’ central ideals of meaning and practical content. An example is, “Seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” People will rattle off this advice in a well-meaning fashion in order to overcome the difficulties of telling other Christians, “You’ve gotta get out of debt, apologize to your spouse, discipline your kids, or organize your life.” What does this command mean?

To write a good reference letter, you need three ingredients:

1. Metal
2. A Word Processor I recommend Libre Office.
3. The Gift of Gab As to the third, here is the generic reference letter that is guaranteed to get anybody into whatever they want to do. They probably won't need a resume:

   To Whom It May Concern,

   This person is better than your other candidates's. Don’t even think about hiring/accepting/considering them.

   My student/colleague/employee has every trait necessary to succeed. Not only so, but they certainly exceed your competence. Trust me, this person is the best. I once saw him/her create tremendous synergy in an output flow organizational paradigm.

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Proverbs 29:18 KJV

Having a vision for who we want to be is crucial for all personal growth.

As a consequence, such a vision is important for spiritual growth.

The Christian vision for human excellence and happiness revealed throught Scripture, but most intensely in Jesus Christ.