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Christian Mindset

Growth in Grace: Transformation of the Feelings

December 20, 2016 by Geoff Leave a Comment

Introduction

Over time, our response to God’s grace will lead to a transformation of our feelings and emotions.

This is evident from two perspectives. First, from observation, we know that part of a long-term diet plan includes learning to like different foods. If this change does not take place, then evidence shows that people tend to end up heavier than they were before going on a diet. Secondly, from Scripture, we see that the ideal Christian life includes the experience of appropriate positive emotions regarding God, truth, goodness, and beauty and negative emotions regarding evil, sin, suffering, and so-on.[1]

The topic of emotional growth and transformation in the life of God’s grace is dangerous, though. It’s dangerous territory because emotions are pathologized in many ways. In this post, I do not mean to:

  1. Conflict with some actual medical diagnosis somebody may have. A genetic predisposition toward depression or a measured chemical imbalance is not to be scoffed at or treated as fake.
  2. Allow people who excuse their behavior because of the feelings.

But, despite the dangers of discussing feelings and emotions, this is an important topic. Besides, a life boat is a dangerous on the high seas, but it is better than sinking with a damaged vessel. Similarly, a Christian approach to our feelings is much safer than simply staying upon a sinking vessel in those same high seas.

Four Theses on Feelings

  1. People make major decisions based solely upon their feelings.
    This is almost an axiom, but if you need evidence use social media.
  2. Basing your choices on feelings is not ideal.
    Many people think that going against their feelings is inauthentic. I’ve even heard famous pastors define hypocrisy as obeying the Lord when you don’t feel like it. The Star Wars films use the phrase, “search your feelings” over and over as a call to seek higher knowledge than sense or reason can provide. Despite the popularity of this way of life, you can easily see how impulses and feelings lead us astray on a regular basis. For instance, many sweet foods are eaten too frequently and this has led to health problems on a national scale. Similarly, the sexual impulse of humanity misapprehended leads to children growing up in terrible and broken households.[2]
  3. The Biblical picture is that feelings are a good gift from God that have been distorted by sin.
    In Romans 1:18-32, Paul says that God gives idolaters (the human race) over to debased minds and shameful lusts as a punishment. In 1 Peter 2:12, Peter observes that our passions actually wage war against our souls. On the other hand, the Bible often uses positive emotions as motivations for living the good life with God. One need only read Proverbs 1-9 to see how frequently pleasant emotions are associated with growing in wisdom, maturity, and godliness.
  4. With our cultural acceptance of feeling as a prime source for authentic living (if it feels good, do it!), Christians must re-examine and re-accept the Biblical picture of human feelings and their place in life with Jesus Christ.
    If the first three theses are true, then this one is a matter of course. A non-ideal state of affairs based on a false belief should always be changed. This is part of the meaning of biblical repentance.

3 Myths about feelings

  1. Self-control means to directly go against your emotions all the time.
    Some people caricature stoicism and think that self-control is bad because it means turning off your emotions. Very few people put this in writing. This is more of an awkward conversation that occurs with people who are about to make a bad decision based on emotion. “There are five good reasons to never do what you’re describing.” “But that’s just who I AM.” We’ve all been there, so we might as well refute it here. Self-control, Biblically, is having a mastery over your feelings. It means crucifying feelings which make it easier to sin and encouraging feelings which honor God (Galatians 5:22-24).
  2. On the other hand, it is a myth that to go against your feelings to do the right thing is bad.[3]
    For instance, John Piper says that buying your wife flowers because you feel obligated isn’t actually love, therefore similarly obeying God out of duty is also not love. This is an interesting point and is helpful from a certain point of view, but it contradicts what the Bible says in several places. Paul says that we are under obligation to the Spirit, not the flesh in Romans 8:12. Now, where Piper is right is that our duty is to delight in God. But it is also our duty to act loving when we feel despondent, hateful, or angry with somebody (God included).
  3. All feelings are true/All feelings are false
    Some people treat their feelings as a totally accurate source of data. Other people treat them as routinely unreliable. An important step is to learn to treat your feelings as an important part of who you are and just like your thoughts and beliefs, they can be right or wrong.

Developing Grace Shaped Feelings

Dallas Willard, in Renovation of the Heart, offers excellent tools for experiencing the transformation of the feelings. What I say below will be partially adapted from his work as well as a collection of some of my own thoughts on the process.

  1. Have a vision of yourself transformed
    If you’re a Christian you want Christ-formed vision of who you are meant to be. This is true of the feelings as well. Few people can overcome their desire for an unhealthy diet because they refuse to imagine themselves as somebody who really doesn’t want the first bite of cake in the first place or at least as somebody who thoroughly enjoys a small piece and moves on with their life. Dallas Willard puts it this way, “If a strong and compelling vision of myself of as one who is simply free from intense vanity or desire of wealth or for sexual indulgence can possess me, then I am in a position to desire not to have the desires I now have. And then means can be effectively sought for that end.”[4] So imagine yourself as somebody who, upon not getting your way, simply makes a reasonable choice instead of being angry. Visualize this. Imagine the angry scenario and all of its physical results (increase heartrate, burning skin, red ears, etc). Then imagine the same scenario with a reasonable response. Which is better?
  2. Reason with your emotions
    Many of us believe that our feelings are deeps sources of knowledge about reality. That’s why believe that they must be satisfied. This can be true of sadness, anger, lust, hunger, and so-on. Part of dealing with these feelings is reasoning with them. “Will I really just die if I go for a walk instead of look at porn?” “Is it realistic to think that I must win this argument with my wife?” “Did my child really try to make me angry?” “Am I literally worthless?” If we ask these questions of our feelings and then dispute them, we may find ourselves slowly having transformed feelings. When you reason with your feelings, it’s important to focus on the positional elements of the Christian life. I’ve written more about this here and here.
  3. Learn the circumstances under which you experience your emotions and change them
    1. I mean two things here. The first is to recognize the bad external circumstances over which you have power, and change them. If you need more sleep, start going to bed early tonight. If you watch depressing or violent television, stop. If you read salacious literature, don’t. If you watch the food network and feel hungry all the time, stop watching it.
    2. There are also internal conditions of feelings. These can be beliefs and thought patterns. If you really believe that you are worthless, then you really will feel like a worthless. Repeat true, Biblical statements to yourself until your belief is changed. “I am in loved by God.” “I am made in God’s image.” “God is worth giving up my immediate desires.” “Self-denial for the sake of Jesus is good.” “With wisdom, I can have good success before God and man.” Other beliefs or processes can be important as well. I have several circumstances that opposed my life success that everybody I know says were the fault of others who took advantage of my niceness and problem solving ability. If I live my whole life thinking about how so-and-so messed me up, I will live my whole life weakening my resolve. So, I’ve chosen to believe that I am fully responsible for those failures and what comes next. This belief is only partly true, but I don’t know enough about those other people’s intentions to really believe that meant to take advantage of me. But I do know that I simply did not have a biblical form of self-love and put others interests before my own in an unbiblical fashion.[5] Learning to change this past belief to one of personal ownership of the result has helped me have way more peace about my current circumstances and to feel must more ownership over my course in life.
  4. Don’t repress your feelings, but change them (in the ways mentioned above) or use them constructively
    Many people, as I mentioned above, see self-control as an inauthentic attempt to repress or hide all feelings. While there are times to hide your feelings, repression is not the best way to have your feelings transformed. There is a time to ‘fake it’ till you make it. If you feel hungry, but don’t eat to train yourself to keep your new diet, that is probably good. But you have to own the fact that you felt hungry despite having eaten enough. If you do not own your feelings as an actual part of who you are , then it can be hard to change them over time. I’ve written about this in more depth here. Another way to approach this is to take potentially sinful feelings and use them to seek the good thing they were designed to point you toward. Examples:

    1. Anger: Anger is meant to tell you where your will is being thwarted. If you’re angry about something you currently cannot solve, go solve another problem.
    2. Lust: Use feelings of lust to motivate yourself to improve your marriageability, attractiveness, or marriage by going to the gym, being more romantic, increasing your earnings, praying more for your marriage/prospects.
    3. Sadness: Sadness comes from a sense of loss or demoralizing defeat. Use sadness to propel you to empathy with others or to motivate you to improve your chances of overcoming your circumstances. You could also use it to guide you toward repentance. Remind yourself that this feeling is the feeling that should accompany sin.

Conclusion

The point of this post is to give clear guidelines for transforming your feelings. The three biggest challenges for this are:

  1. The belief that we should base our lives on feelings.
  2. Our lack of vision about the Biblical picture of feelings formed in Christ (read the New Testament and Proverbs very thoroughly to solve this)
  3. Our inability to admit that our feelings are often the result of choices we make that are sinful at worst and foolish at best.

If we can get these things straight, then we can hopefully chart a clearer course through this aspect of growing in God’s grace.

May his Spirit help us.

Posts in the series

  1. What does “grow in grace” mean?
  2. Growth in Grace: Vision
  3. Growth in Grace: Intention
  4. Growth in Grace: Means
  5. Growth in Grace: Transformation of the Feelings

References

[1] For instance, Paul commands us to “abhor the evil” but also says that God’s spirit will work “joy” in our lives. And while I am quite opposed to the idea that love is an emotion, love is often accompanied by delight. Our sense of delight in those we choose to love (rather than only gravitating toward loving those in whom we delight) is an important sign of spiritual growth.

[2] The research on the difficulties children raised in single-parent homes face should make everybody more circumspect about one-night stands, but few people perceive future generations as worthy of respect, care, or concern unless it involves public decisions like driving a Prius. But people will rarely be choosy with sexual partners based upon their potential children.

[3] John Piper, Desiring God ([Sisters, OR]: Multnomah, 2003), 93, “Consider the analogy of a wedding anniversary. Mine is on December 21. Suppose on this day I bring home a dozen long-stemmed roses for Noël. When she meets me at the door, I hold out the roses, and she says, “O Johnny, they’re beautiful; thank you” and gives me a big hug. Then suppose I hold up my hand and say matter-of-factly, “Don’t mention it; it’s my duty.” What happens? Is not the exercise of duty a noble thing? Do not we honor those we dutifully serve? Not much. Not if there’s no heart in it. Dutiful roses are a contradiction in terms. If I am not moved by a spontaneous affection for her as a person, the roses do not honor her. In fact, they belittle her. They are a very thin covering for the fact that she does not have the worth or beauty in my eyes to kindle affection. All I can muster is a calculated expression of marital duty.”

[4] Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart, 119.

[5] Paul, in Philippians 2:1-11, teaches us to emulate Christ in putting others interests above our own. And we should, but insofar as the interests of the other involve the purposes of the gospel. For instance, Paul won’t put others interests above his own when it comes to his calling or responsibilities. Same with Jesus. Jesus tells would be apostles (people who want to go preach with him) that they can’t come because they want him to wait for their needs to be met first. This is important to remember. If somebody’s need involves you failing to feed your family, pursue your calling, or whatever then think very carefully about whether or not it is wise to do. For instance, in the parable of the good Samaritan, the Samaritan didn’t invite the guy into his home or offer to pay all of his bills. But he did help him in the moment and agree to pay for his care at an inn.

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Filed Under: Christian Mindset, Christianity

Biblical Mindset

December 14, 2016 by Geoff Leave a Comment

One of the great casualties of modern academic theology and biblical studies is any sense that the Bible offers a philosophy for life. And I don’t just mean that it provides information for the creation of an accurate worldview or political practice. I mean that the Bible offers actual insight into the realities of human nature (mind, body, spirit/soul), history, and God. But I think that the Bible claims to offer such a philosophy. A brief example can be found here:

For those who walk according to the flesh are mindful the things of the flesh, but those who walk according to the Spirit are mindful the things of the Spirit. For the mindset of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the Spirit is life and peace. (Romans 8:5-6)[1]

Paul, in the passage above, is claiming that his own gospel message contains a Spirit inspired mindset. And while Paul describes the mindsets in absolute terms (you have one or the other), elsewhere, Paul makes clear that one must be renewed over time and through tremendous effort to overcome the mindset and practices of the flesh (see Romans 6, Ephesians 4, and Colossians 3). So to be a Christian is to be daily obtaining and putting into practice the mindset of the Spirit, with the help of that same Spirit.

Kyriacos Markides described this view of the Bible as a book designed to help people form a way of life very well:

Likewise, the role of the Bible must be seen as a therapeutic tool to heal our existential alienation from God. And those who can offer an expert’s opinion about its worth as a handbook for union with God are neither the fundamentalists nor the Bible historians, but the saints who have extensively put it to practice. Furthermore, Father Maximos added, the Bible by itself is not adequate as a guide to reach God. One must take into consideration the entire experience of the Ecclesia, the entire corpus of the spiritual tradition as articulated in the lives, aphorisms, homilies, spiritual methodologies, and written testimonies of the saints. And this tradition is being tested and retested by the experiences of the saints.[2]

My definition of mindset is the beliefs, attitudes, and processes individuals and organizations utilize to interact with circumstances. The definition of the Greek word I translated mindset above is ‘a way of thinking.’ So Paul’s concept is not dissimilar from my own. What does the Bible say about the Christian mindset? The lists below are incomplete, but sufficient to show that there is biblical content to the mindset of the Spirit.

  1. Beliefs
    1. God is benevolent and does not tempt us to sin.
    2. To love is to be like God.
    3. The world is ruled by evil and I have contributed to that evil and fundamentally chosen to rebel against God.
    4. God’s kingdom is at hand.
    5. Jesus has been raised from the dead.
    6. Jesus will reconcile those who trust him to God.
    7. Jesus’ teachings can be the foundation for an invincible life.
    8. God is present in his people, the church and the history of the church is filled with wisdom and both good and bad examples of faithfulness.
    9. God has given the Christian everything necessary for spiritual growth.
    10. Every temptation is supplied with a way out.
    11. There is eternal as well as temporal hope for the righteous.
    12. Human beings are responsible for their own virtues, vices, and eternal destiny in a profound way.
  2. Attitudes
    1. Gratitude should be cultivated daily.
    2. Knowledge is good and love is even better.
    3. Hatred of all evil is good as well as a desire to overcome evil with good.
    4. Wonder at God and his creation is encouraged.
    5. The Christian is given a spirit of love, power, and self-control.
    6. Christians should approach church disagreements with moderation.
    7. Joyful anticipation of good works to accomplish.
    8. Money is a metric among many, it isn’t everything.
  3. Processes
    1. Negative visualization (consider losing everything in advance of losing it)
    2. Fasting
    3. Daily prayer and meditation
    4. Silencing your soul/mind/heart
    5. Planning for the future while remaining outcome independent.
    6. See every temptation, challenge, trial, disaster, and tragedy as a test of virtue.
    7. Subjecting spiritual claims to public scrutiny
    8. Self-examination and comparison to divinely inspired ideals
    9. Daily attempting to become more virtuous
    10. Confession of sins
    11. Honoring God by doing your best at work and in daily interactions
    12. Maintenance of property and household economics

References

[1] Kurt Aland et al., Novum Testamentum Graece, 28th Edition. (Stuttgart: Deutsche Bibelgesellschaft, 2012), Ro 8:5–6, “ οἱ γὰρ κατὰ σάρκα ὄντες τὰ τῆς σαρκὸς φρονοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ κατὰ πνεῦμα τὰ τοῦ πνεύματος. τὸ γὰρ φρόνημα τῆς σαρκὸς θάνατος, τὸ δὲ φρόνημα τοῦ πνεύματος ζωὴ καὶ εἰρήνη”

[2] Kyriacos C. Markides. The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality (The Crown Publishing Group). 48.

 

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Filed Under: Christian Mindset, Mindset, Philosophy

If you should sin

December 13, 2016 by Geoff Leave a Comment

St. Peter of Damaskos, in his treatise on The Great Benefit of True Repentance, wrote:

It is always possible to make a new start by means of repentance. ‘You fell,’ it is written, ‘now arise’ (cf. Prov. 24: 16). And if you fall again, then rise again, without despairing at all of your salvation, no matter what happens. So long as you do not surrender yourself willingly to the enemy, your patient endurance, combined with self-reproach, will suffice for your salvation. Nikodimos, St.. The Philokalia (Kindle Locations 20409-20414). Kindle Edition.

With respect to the daily sins of which we are tempted this is true. The big response which many make falling back into an old pattern of sin is to arrogantly throw up the sponge, admit defeat, and wallow. Neither the ancient Christians nor the Bible they read gives credence to such a method of repentance.

We forget that, according to Scripture, Satan is the god of this age (2 Corinthians 4:4) and that sin resides, somehow, in our members. What this means is that we’ve habituated sin so deeply that for all practical purposes, it lives in our minds and bodies! Of course we’re going to mess this whole holiness thing up. We’re going to mess it up badly! To imagine that discipleship would be easy is to miss the impression Jesus was trying to give in Matthew 11:28-30. He meant that discipleship, because it leads to rest for the soul, is easy because the broad path of destruction leads to weeping and gnashing of teeth. Easy didn’t mean instant.

A struggle many bright students often have is to feel or even say how stupid they are when they make a normal mistake. The self-flagellation that occurs, especially out loud, is a clear signal to those around them that, “Such mistakes are beneath me,” when the student knows full well that those in the room make such mistakes often. In other words, it’s performance art with the arrogant message that, “I messed up, but I’m not as dumb as you lot!”  I think that our responding to personal sin with self-destructive thoughts, and punishing self-talk is a similarly arrogant. It’s better to simply, rise again without despairing of your salvation, no matter what happens.

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Filed Under: Christian Mindset, Mindset

Power and Christian Spirituality

July 10, 2015 by Geoff Leave a Comment

The Christian and Power

Christians are understandably nervous about power.

You know the saying, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

But at its most basic level, power is “being able to do what you want.”  Therefore it is no different from strength, except that its associations transcend the athletic capacities of the physical body. And while we often want what is evil, this is not always so. Power is morally neutral in this sense.

I do not think that power is bad. Sought for its own sake, power is an idol. But that is true of food, sex, spiritual disciplines, romance, justice, and essentially everything but God or “the good.”

Power is a good, and as such has its place in the Christian moral landscape. I’ve written about Proverbs 24 before, but there’s more to say about it.

Go ahead and read this twice:

Pro 24:1-12 ESV Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them, (2) for their hearts devise violence, and their lips talk of trouble. (3) By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; (4) by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. (5) A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, (6) for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

 

(7) Wisdom is too high for a fool; in the gate he does not open his mouth. (8) Whoever plans to do evil will be called a schemer. (9) The devising of folly is sin, and the scoffer is an abomination to mankind. (10) If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. (11) Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. (12) If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?

Now, there are different kinds of power/strength. But nevertheless this chunk of Proverbs says at the very least to get:

  1. wisdom
  2. knowledge
  3. might/strength
  4. wise counsel

A favorite genre in the Bible is that of praising/shaming two groups. One of ideal goodness and the other of typological badness. This rhetoric encourages us to place ourselves firmly in one category. The passage above praises:

  1. The wise
  2. Those with knowledge
  3. The strong
  4. Those who increase their might
  5. Those who use wise counsel to overcome obstacles
  6. The steadfast
  7. Those who protect the weak

The passage is shaming:

  1. The wicked
  2. Those who envy the wicked
  3. Individuals who do not increase their strength, wisdom, knowledge
  4. Those who plan evil instead of good
  5. Any who pretend not to see the plight of the weak

Why Seek Power?

I propose that if you have power and use it wisely and justly, you do not have to envy the wicked and you can wage your various wars*, survive adversity, and assist/protect the weak. Solomon praises several dimensions of power throughout Proverbs:**

  1. Financial – earnings, savings, and generosity
  2. Physical – heath of body
  3. Vocational skill – the ability to do something well
  4. Personal – ones persuasiveness and charisma
  5. Cognitive – ones problem solving ability
  6. Emotional – managing  your feelings is crucial
  7. Spiritual/moral – one’s habitual reliance on God and ability to say no to sin (see Hebrews 12 especially), it encompasses all the others because a spiritually strong person can manage poverty or wealth well, can deal with a strong or weak body, and so-on.

Indeed, the biblical authors only disparage human strength when it is arrayed against the purposes of God. The Bible assumes that humanity, with God’s grace, will develop strength. Taking dominion over nature requires persistent growth in power (in all its dimensions).

My point is to encourage Christians to actually seek power and strength. That sounds so weird to say, but again, Jesus says, “Be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.” Grow in goodness, including the ability to make the good happen. That’s what he’s saying. His statement assumes the background of passages like Proverbs 24.

Closing Questions:

  1. What are you doing to grow in power?
  2. Is it working?
  3. Finally, are you growing in spiritual and moral power?

Notes

*The text may refer to literal wars if Proverbs was written for kings, but warfare is a metaphor in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes for the scribal struggle for wisdom.

**I intentionally left political power out.

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Filed Under: Christian Mindset, Bible, Christianity, Education, Mindset, Philosophy Tagged With: discipleship, Proverbs, Thoughts

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