I’ve been a Sunday school teacher for a long time and now I find myself in several interesting mentoring roles in my life. When I was younger I thought of my role in very robotic terms. I give knowledge, people absorb it, and then they base their own thoughts on that knowledge. Then I move on.
In reality the process is almost nothing like that. There are so many things to take into account when it comes to mentoring other Christians. Here are some chunks of Scripture and my thoughts on their application to the mentoring process:
Colossians 1:27-28 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. (28) Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.
Here, Paul’s thought is that since God is using the gospel message to bring non-Israelite people into God’s family, he proclaims the Messiah who makes that possible. In this Paul warns (the word could be translated instruct with seriousness and that makes sense here) and instructs everybody with all wisdom (prudence or skill) so that he and the other apostles might present people mature in Christ. If we would stop a moment and think about what this means, we would be more careful in how we communicate the gospel to the others. The purpose, for instance, is not being right, not maintaining prestige, not being liked, nor some other thing, but to present the person mature in Christ. So, when hard conversations come up what I am called to do is consider (this is hard for me) what this or that person needs to hear or say to come to maturity in Christ.
Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. (19) Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, (20) teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”In the verses from Matthew above, one finds that Jesus promises to be present with his people. This is either true or isn’t. If he is present, then any conflict in the church, any disagreement, any struggle, trial, or temptation in the life of a believer is an opportunity for Christ to do something in that person’s life. For instance, if somebody is tempted to have a bad temper, though they need self-control they may have been gifted with a strong sense of justice. If somebody is cynical and negative all the time, though they need to learn to rejoice, they may have a logical mind that is skilled at problem seeking that they can use for problem solving. If somebody steals to feed themselves, then they are probably quick witted and hard-working and can work hard with their hands to provide for themselves and the poor (see Ephesians 4). Christ is with his people, particularly when they’re gathered in order to make disciples. And mentoring circumstance opens up several opportunities of this sort.
Proverbs 24:5-6 A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, (6) for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.
Another important piece of the puzzle is that anybody you are mentoring has a war/struggle/goal. If this person is a Christian, the goal is probably fundamentally good even if it is poorly aimed, sinfully approached, or ridiculous on the surface. But such persons are not merely cogs in the wheel of whatever project you or I are working on (church growth strategy, music team, flourishing college ministry, and so-on). The battle they have is the church’s battle (Ephesians 6:10-20), but in another way it is their own. When people come to an older Christian for advice, help, or encouragement they need help for their present struggle (and more importantly, help the points them directly to Christ). But making such discussions about anything other than the person’s battle and the appropriate steps toward victory in Christ seems to be off topic. As a college minister (not professionally), the temptation is to try to get students wrapped up in a million projects that I think would be cool. But really, their calling is always and ever to honor their parents, their professors, and the Lord by making the highest grades they can. So the idea must always be to steer college students toward victory in the spiritual struggles and personal struggles they face, not toward this or that idea that would be helpful to this or that ministry. This does not mean there isn’t a place to ask somebody to be in this or that thing, but never at the expense of their calling.
2 Corinthians 5:14-17 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; (15) and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. (16) From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. (17) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Finally, there is always hope. This is hard for me. I can become very cynical about people very quickly. But, if the good news of Jesus Christ is true, there is always hope. If I judge according to the flesh (purely human standards which do not take God’s work as possible or according to sinful desires of my own), then everybody but the best and brightest are lost causes. But if I instead allow myself to be compelled by the love of Christ, then no matter what, there is hope that an individual could turn from this or that sin, folly, or escape from a crisis and bear fruit of repentance, good works, and joy in God. This kind of regular reference to the hope we have for somebody does not mean a boundary-less life, but it does mean that even people you can no longer spend time with because they are too negative, abusive, or unsafe can change. If it is true that God’s kingdom has drawn near in Christ, then any number of factors could be at work in this or that person’s life to transform them into a new creation.
I hope those thoughts are helpful to anybody who is a Christian in a mentoring position.
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